As a divorce lawyer and custody attorney I meet people at some of the most
difficult times of their lives. The emotions are raging, the anxiety is
high and the uncertainty of cost, duration and results can make the best
and kindest person become antagonistic and oppositional.
To protect your children from the worst that
divorce or a
custody disagreement entails, it is so important to work out ahead of time the schedule of
when the children will be with each parent. Resolve the custody schedule
for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve, New Year's
Day and the school recess.
Assume that the other parent wants just as much to be with the children
and then decide how to allocate the time fairly. Perhaps take into consideration
how the time was spent last year if the case has been going on that long
and do the opposite schedule this year. Don't assume that the children
should only wake up on Christmas morning in one home. The children know
Santa goes to many, many homes. Consider the ages of your children and
what time of day/evening they will be transported. Consider how each family
celebrates the holidays.
Let the children feel loved in both homes and allow them to celebrate or
enjoy time with both parents. If you can do these things, your children
will remember the holidays fondly rather than as the holiday that the
police were talking to their parents.