How to Rebuild Your Life After Going Through Divorce

As a matrimonial attorney with over 30 years of experience, I have seen and managed countless divorce cases. Every single one is as unique as the divorcing couple when you focus on the details. But overall, there seems to be a common concern among divorcés, which is, “How am I going to put my life back together?”

It’s true, a divorce really can seem like everything around you just fell apart and now you have scattered pieces to sort out. The average person going through a divorce may start to question every decision they made, or go through uncharacteristic mood swings. Overall, it’s troubling – even stone-faced spouses can feel the pressure of even just a calm, uncontested divorce – but it is not the end of times.

Please take it from a team of lawyers whose practice is 100% divorce and family law : a divorce is the start of a newer, better chapter in your life. In order to reach the other side, you just need some determination and focus. A few friendly tips and bits of advice won’t hurt, either.

Review these helpful reminders each day until you find you don’t need them any more:

1.No happy marriage has ever ended in divorce. It just doesn’t happen that way. If you or your ex-spouse filed for a divorce, it was because things weren’t as good as they should and can be. Staying in an unhealthy marriage gets no one anywhere they want or deserve to be.

2.You’re probably going to be your own worst enemy, not your ex-spouse. Just as how your harshest critic is yourself, most of your doubt is going to come from inside. Try to focus on actual tasks at home or at work to keep your mind from wandering and beating yourself up.

3.Set yourself new, personal goals in multiple facets of your life. If your job is in sales, try to beat your record next month. If you always wanted to start a diet or exercise plan, do so now. Making and meeting little expectations can get your progress towards a new life rolling while also giving you welcome boosts of confidence.

4.If you shared children with your ex-spouse, never forget their own emotions and needs. This usually means putting all your willpower into staying civil and friendly towards your spouse, but it also means paying attention to your children, partaking in their fun activities, and having genuine interest in their schoolwork.

5.Speaking of playing nicely with your ex, you should never go out of your way to defame or attack them in front of other people. Divorce is about letting go and moving on, not gripping the past in angry clutches. If you spend too much time thinking about the wrongdoing your ex has done, you only wind up hurting yourself.

6.Forming new romantic relationships can be an uplifting experience, but many divorcés report that new romances feel stale or fake if they rush into them. Try to get to really know yourself and what you want out of a partner first. If you have kids, you may also not want to introduce them to a new partner unless you have decided the relationship is going to be good for the long run.

7.You’re going to feel lonely sometimes. At family functions, after dropping off your kids, cleaning your apartment, or other tasks – it’s going to happen and you can’t stop it. So many people tell us the worst part of divorcing and the number one reason they are having trouble getting their life on track again is the feeling of being alone. Trust us when we say that you’ll get through each bout, and that you’ll relearn how to prize and appreciate time spent without other people. Alone does not have to mean lonely!

Start Your New Life Without Legal Trouble

Another way people can get snared after going through a divorce is if it is not completed carefully or appropriately. Unattended problems with child custody, alimony, property division, and so on can balloon into major concerns later on, when the past was supposed to be left behind. We encourage you to contact our office today if you are in the midst of a divorce or have post-divorce problems and need legal guidance or support.

Categories: Divorce
Steven P. Kuhn, Attorney at Law
Suffolk County Divorce Lawyer
Located at
5225 Route 347, Building 7, Suite 37
Port Jefferson Station, NY 11776.

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Phone: (631) 629-6874
Phone: (631) 928-7700
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