Some clients are looking forward to the 4-way divorce settlement conference
while others can't stand the thought of being in the same room as
their ex-to-be or the attorney of their soon to be ex. The truth is that
the 4-way meeting with both lawyers and clients can be very productive
if all of people there want to make it productive.
Clients and attorneys who discuss the real issues and are prepared can
often settle cases in concept (which means that a
written agreement still has to be prepared) or they can make progress to determining the
real issues and discussing financial matters as well as all problems related
child support and
Equitable distribution will be discussed and each party can express what assets they wish to
keep or how to divide them. Parenting schedules can be worked on as well
as payment of attorney's fees.
There are just a few basic, but not always easily obtained, steps to having
a productive four way.
1. Leave the anger outside the room. As soon as accusations fly the meeting
2. Meet with your attorney before the 4-way to discuss your concerns and
your bargaining position.
3. Listen to what is said at the meeting and do not talk over each other.
Often people are agreeing but the other person is so worked up they don't
hear that the issue is resolved.
4. Bring any necessary financial documents that still need to be exchanged
or that have recently come-up.
5. Think positively.
6. Be respectful of the attorneys, they are doing their job and do not
hate you. Don't make it personal with the attorney by leveling false
accusations at the lawyer.