Many men going through a
contested divorce will ask me should they move out because they can't stand living in
the same house. Usually my advice is that they should hang in there as
long as there are no issues of domestic violence leading to an
Order of Protection.
As uncomfortable as it is to stay in the same house and live in separate
bedrooms and sometimes even that is not possible, I encourage men to stay
for several reasons.
The first is the financial aspect of moving out. I ask, can you afford
to move out and pay rent or expenses for your new place and still contribute
to expenses of the house? If your wife is working and self-supporting
or if the client has lots of money then the decision is easier. Keep in
mind that the Court might still make you contribute to the mortgage, taxes
& insurance because you are preserving a marital asset. So even if
your spouse works, if you make significantly more you might still have
Second, if you move out and have unemancipated children you will be expected to pay
child support, so of course this becomes a financial consideration.
Third, if you move out and have children under 18, you will need to coordinate
a parenting schedule so that you can see your children with regularity.
When you are living at home, you can see them as much and as often as
you want. Your moving out essentially grants temporary residential
custody to the other parent.
Finally, if you move out and if it is the type of case where the house
needs to be sold your spouse may slow the process down because she is
in the house and you are not, you are paying some or all of the expenses
and now there is no pressing desire to make her good deal come to a faster
Father's Rights are important and need to be protected. If you are facing this situation,
I urge you to speak to a matrimonial attorney to get good advice tailored
to your particular situation.