Parents who settle their custody dispute with joint custody and decision making have a continuing obligation to effectively parent and endeavor to make decisions that benefit their children and avoid gridlock. If parents show that they cannot cooperate and put the needs of their children first the court may make a modification even after the parties previously settled with joint custody and decision making. A recent NYC case showed how when things go wrong the court will order a hearing to determine if changes are necessary.
The case summary (A.M. vs. A.L., Appellate Division, First Dept., 2026) is as follows: The parents were divorced and had joint custody and joint decision making by mutual agreement. However, as time passed the parents relationship "had deteriorated to the point that they are incapable of meaningful communication or cooperation regarding the children..." Over a two year period the parents were unable to timely or effectively make decisions on education, medical and mental health care.
The court noted that the parents had such disagreement over the younger child's school placement that the child was "disenrolled and gone without schooling for months." One child could not attend summer camp because the parents could not agree on the program. A child had a several month gap in therapy when the parents could not agree on the provider. The relationship had deteriorated so badly that both parents were prohibited from jointly attending the younger child's medical appointments. The parents would also compete to obtain second opinions thus slowing treatment.
The court noted that there was decision making "paralysis" and that the parents inability to make major and minor decisions would lead "to perpetual litigation".
The bottom line is that parents who think that they can be oppositional without good cause, without meaningful communication, where the consequences are real, identifiable and detrimental may lose the ability to make joint decisions even if that was their original agreement. With the facts like the above a hearing was to be scheduled to determine if one parent should have sole legal and physical custody of the children, subject to a parenting schedule.