Every parent that is required to participate in a custody forensic evaluation is nervous and senses a loss of control. Even the "good" parents are worried as to whether they will be able to communicate their concerns, whether their fears will be understood and of course what will the other parent be saying about them as the other parent tries to influence the forensic psychologist.
Custody forensic evaluations are generally reserved for the high conflict custody cases of which the origins can be numerous. So rather than discuss why forensics have been ordered, instead this blog will suggest ways to obtain better results.
Some of the suggestions are so basic but are worth stating for emphasis:
1. Show up on time. Don't unnecessarily cancel appointments or delay scheduling.
2. Be cooperative and respectful of the psychologist and the other parent.
3. Don't act as though this is a forced obligation, instead look at it as an opportunity to convey your thoughts and concerns.
4. Plan ahead so that you are organized in your thoughts so that you do not appear scattered and unable to address topics raised by the evaluator.
5. Be honest and be consistent. If you give different answers to similar questions from one appointment to the next the evaluator will question whether you are telling the truth.
6. Do not constantly demean and badmouth the other parent. Instead, give examples of the other parent's conduct and how it affects your child and/or your relationship with the child.
7. Don't minimize the other parent's concern but instead explain why the issue is not a problem. If you have taken steps to improve yourself perhaps by obtaining therapy, completing parenting classes, avoiding bad influences and others who interfere in your relationship with your child share your desire to improve and be the best parent that you can be.
8. Don't complain about the judge, the other attorney, the system or your lack of trust of people that are doing their jobs...even if you think that they are biased or unfair explain what may have been overlooked or not given proper weight. Instead, in a logical manner, give examples of your concerns rather than just say that you are "hated" by the other person. If Child Protective Services has been involved you can share what you believe was missed or undervalued in their conclusion rather than just say that they can't do their jobs or are prejudiced or lazy.
9. If you are represented by an attorney ask your lawyer to help you prepare in advance and help you prepare how to respond to sensitive or difficult questions that you are concerned will be raised. Sometimes you just have to acknowledge past actions rather than try to minimize and appear out of touch with the effect of your past conduct.
10. Pay your share of the fees or make an arrangement to do so. For many this is easier said than done but try not to make payment an issue between you and the forensic evaluator.