Parents are often afraid to start mental health or family therapy during a contested divorce or custody dispute. They are worried (old school thinking) that it is an admission that they are not well. The reality is that in many, if not most cases, it is viewed by the judge and attorney for the child as a positive step.
Obviously it may not be necessary for everyone, but for those who do have either pre-existing untreated or not properly treated mental health problems, or for people who feel that their emotional responses are out of control, or who desire a better understanding of their own behavior as well as that of the other parent's and their children, therapy can be eye opening.
Therapists are trained to address the stressors of a divorce or custody dispute. They are trained to listen to your description of problems and the reactions and results and then suggest alternative strategies or perhaps explain why your approach might not be working. Likewise, they can also be a source of validation that you are doing things correctly, that some situations may not be within your control and therefore you have to adjust your expectations.
Even where there are serious mental health problems, addiction issues or domestic violence judges will credit efforts made by a person to improve their conduct and better communicate with the other parent or their child. A parent that enters therapy/counseling before it is mandated will almost always be viewed as recognizing that they are having difficulties and that they are willing to seek help.
The therapist is also potentially a witness that can testify as to the work that you are doing, the regular attendance, the progress and the results that are already being obtained. There are special rules that may limit such testimony but that is a topic too technical for this blog post.
Even as a highly experienced matrimonial attorney, there have been many times where a therapist has provided me and my client with a different view and insight to a set of problems. The therapist can help explain what is the cause or best way to manage either my client's difficulties or to better understand the other person's reactions and how to improve cooperation and dialogue with the other parent and/or child.
So don't be afraid to seek assistance, gain knowledge and gain strength to improve a difficult situation.